Aigburth pensioner places six-figure bet on son scoring for England

Aigburth pensioner places six-figure bet on son scoring for England

A retired topiary assistant from Aigburth has placed an incredible £100,000 bet on his son one day scoring a goal for the England football team.

90-year-old Albert Jumbojet is so convinced of his son Gareth’s abilities on the pitch that he has remortgaged his house and put his entire savings on the line in the belief that his dreams will one day be realised in front of a capacity crowd at Wembley.

With bookies quoting Albert lengthy 500,000/1 odds, the gamble could pay off massively for the Jumbojets should Gareth ever pull on the famous white jersey and score a goal for the Three Lions.

The feat would be even more spectacular considering Gareth is 53 and has been locked in a coma for the past 20 years.

Gareth entered his coma in 1998 after slipping into dangerous machinery whilst working at a local mashed potato factory. Gareth lost his shins, his left hand, and complete control of his nervous system in the accident. He is unable to breathe unaided and has to have his anus wiped around the clock from a dedicated team of carers.

“Football’s all about realising your dreams I’ve had one since Gareth was born; that he’d thump in the winning goal against Germany in the World Cup final” said Albert, who lost consciousness several times during our interview after having most of his teeth pulled out by a payday loan company for failing to keep up payments on a small sum he took out at 476,982% APR to support his bet.

“He’s no stranger to adversity is our Gareth, and he’ll come back fitter and stronger than ever before to win the World Cup,” rambled Albert from underneath a heavyset loan shark’s knee as his fingers were brutally snapped backwards.

“Oh yeah, that guy,” laughed Derek Venom, manager of Thistle & Fist loans, when we approached him for comment. “We all had a good laugh at that down the pub last night. Both of them are at death’s door but we don’t care. As we speak our team is taking control of all Albert’s material possessions,” he added.

John Meadowcroft

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